New Year's Resolutions

With January the First quickly approaching, I want to set myself some goals. I know you can set them at any time in the year, but I just want to make some now, to prepare myself! As I'm still ill with a chest infection, it's hard to gather motivation and energy, but hopefully by the start of January I'll be better!

• What I really want is to get through my high school and finish it on a positive note, with as good a result I can get in the GCSEs.
• Then I also want to get into a good college. Hopefully so I can study fashion and costume design, as my dream jobs are all centred around that! (That is, as well as being an author.)
• To help my dad find a new job that he's happy in; right now he's not in a good place regardless of the amount of money he's payed, so I need to help him out as much as I can.
• I really want to start sewing my own Lolita and vintage wardrobe this year, so my challenge is to become a better dress-maker. 
• I also want to finish at least one of the books I'm writing this year, and then publish it to Kindle and Ebook readers. Either When the Summer Ends, or Margaret's School; but preferably the former, as I want that to be my first published novel. 
• In the summer I am going to get another puppy to love and train, so I have something to do and look forward to.
• To be happy! I think that should be everybody's wish!

Isul Lir

This Christmas I was very lucky to receive Isul Lir from my parents. Isul Lir is the doll in the same collection as Beverly, my Pullip Merl, as both have a very nautical feel to their outfits.

Isul Lir has big, dewy brown eyes, incredibly long brown eyelashes, and sweet, peach-pink lips. The doll's hair is short, slightly spiky in places, and styled in a dirty blonde bob around its face. Although its hair is not as soft as my other dolls', it makes up for it by being very different, adding to its personality. Lir has a lovely skin shade, that is quite a healthy colour, reminding me of vintage illustrations of children used during the 50s, perfect for a seafarer!
Lir's outfit is just the cutest, reminding me of the clothes that little boys used to wear in the Victorian age. It comes with a sash, bloomers, striped socks and boots with tiny laces; I even think that the sailor cap is embroidered (embroidery being one of my favourite embellishments on garments)! 

Although Isuls are generally manufactured to be males, I have decided that this time the Isul doll will be female. At first I wanted to call it Oscar, but as soon as I saw it, I thought that a female character would be more fitting. Besides, she has the same hairstyle as me!

So, her name is Audrey, in my mind, and she is an assistant to Beverly on the ship they live in. I have yet to come up with specifics, but when I do they'll be posted to my doll page.

A Parcel from Spain!

A few days before Christmas, I received a really sweet present from my DeviantART friend, Nami, to thank me for supporting her art! I thought it was incredibly lovely of her to go to such lengths, and it made me incredibly happy! I'll share it, because it is so gorgeous! Even the packaging it came in was adorable!

Happy Christmas!

Happy Christmas; I hope everyone has had a good time! My day was okay, but seeing as I had a chest infection, I felt ill for most of it, and couldn't help counting down the minutes until I could go to bed and get some rest, that is, without appearing antisocial or rude at all. This is because my whole family came round, including my Aunt from Australia, so I did have to make an effort this time.

I hope that it doesn't seem too spoiled brat-ish of me to share the things my family bought me, but I'm just really happy. Besides, the best part of Christmas is the presents!

DVDs

 Harry Hill, Allo Allo! and Miranda's Live Show (which I actually saw in Liverpool with my dad! God, she's hilarious!)

Books!

 The Busy Girl's Guide to Photography, Pom Pom Puppies (I'm in love), How to Draw Vintage Fashion, Let's Lolita Sewing Book 2, Blogging for Creatives, and a historical fashion colouring book.

More books!

 I am Malala, the Monsieur Pamplemousse series, a Black Butler Art Book, and Off the Leash comics.

 A cute tin with body washes in, an alarm clock from my sister, and two Kirsty Allsopp craft kits (gosh, I love Kirsty)!

 Pokemon Alpha Sapphire, an Accessorize phone case, and Turkish delight. Anybody who knows me well knows that I'm mad about Turkish delight!

Things to wear!

 Accessorize Clock-face purse, pearl drop earrings (specially chosen for the future prom), strawberry earrings and lollipop broach from Nami, black lace gloves from John Lewis, a silver bangle from Pandora, and two stack-able rings, also from Pandora! The latter two are gifts are from my aunt, as she usually spoils us when she comes back home after an absence of two/three years...

Lace!

 Lots of lace and a gorgeous box to keep them in! I actually think I have a lace addiction...

Isul Lir

I love him/her, but I don't have a story, name or even gender for it yet! I really need to have a think, as usually I come up with things after purchase; recently I've had no time due to mock exams.

Angelic Pretty Handbag!

I chose this for myself at Hyper Japan. I'm excited, because this is my first brand bag!

Two For Tea!

Today my friend Wendy came round and we had a Lolita themed tea party! I've always wanted a tea party, so this was like a dream come true (I must have been a very lonely, depraved child)!

So in preparation, the other day I purchased some pretty china to drink from, as my town has a lovely store called The China Shop; which, obviously, is filled to the brim with delicate things, so I had to tiptoe about the place and pray that I wouldn't trip up.
The ones I purchased were from the Red Rose Collector's series by Aynsley. The two cups are slightly different, but they were so pretty in magenta and gold that I couldn't resist them! Also, the saucers I got matched - they have apples and winter berries in the centres - but are from a completely different brand, called Duchess.
I also borrowed some items from my Nana's collection to have a whole set, and they are the Lavender Rose series from Royal Albert, dating from around the 1960s, I think. They all looked really pretty together, and it inspired me to get out my rose tea that I purchased in France.

As I have a gluten intolerance, poor Wendy had to suffer the strange chocolate chip cookies I made, which actually look more like boulders than biscuits! Thankfully, my dad also bought some yummy chocolate fondant cupcakes, so she wasn't too victimised.

For fun - but also because Wendy is also interested in Lolita fashion - I put together an outfit and we both dressed up! Wendy makes an adorable Lolita girl, and actually suits my clothes better than I do!

She is wearing; my BtSSB Lovely Sweet Room JSK, BtSSB white head bow, Bodyline blouse, an off brand pink parasol, and Hush Puppy Victorian boots.

And I wore a Wonder Cookie JSK (from Dream of Lolita), a BtSSB blouse, a handmade bonnet, petticoat, the drawers I made, BtSSB socks and black mary janes. Oh, and I've also had my hair cut to slightly above my jawline; I wasn't sure if it would go with Lolita, but having such long hair was a pain, so I gave in and cut it anyway.
At first I was wearing her head bow, but she wanted to see what I looked like in the bonnet, so I wore that for the rest of the day.

We drank the rose tea, watched Frozen and Interview with the Vampire (a strange mix, I must admit!) and took silly photographs. I really enjoyed my first Lolita tea party!

Lolita Videos

I found these really cute Lolita videos! After a re-watch of the wonderful Kamikaze Girls (and the realisation of how cute Ichigo is), I felt very affectionate towards the clothes of Baby, the Stars Shine Bright! Now I really want to go back to the Paris store.

Marie Antoinette

Due to my obsession with Candy Violet/Vivcore's blogs and online apparel store, the Rococo Lady dress I've had my eye on since the age of eleven, plus the idea of a Quaintrelle Life... I have finally decided to review Marie Antoinette! It is one of my favourite films, so I'm rather excited.

Marie Antoinette shows us the frivolous, almost insane life of the infamous French queen, as she dances through love, life, and extremely first world problems. At the age of fourteen she was forged to marry the dauphin of France and leave everything from Austria, her home country, behind. The day after she first met the dauphin, they were wed in an intricately detailed, frilly celebration. From then onwards, her problems were based around trying to stay in everybody's good-books and consummate her marriage with Louis, which only happened 7 years after their vows.
Throughout, we see that she isn't exactly happy in her rich life, and feels pressurised and isolated all of the time... Antoinette may be sorrowful for a little while, but usually she perks up after a lavish spending spree of candy-coloured shoes, fans, jewels, wigs, and dresses, as well as another crazy party! The French public soon become unhappy with the amount of money she is spending on herself, rather than for the good of the country, which leads to her obvious downfall...

The viewer can honestly sympathise for Marie Antoinette (especially if they're a rather royal Lolita!), and who wouldn't want to be right on the set of that film! I just love all of the scenes, especially Antoinette's little country retreat and the bedrooms of Versailles; and those costumes have a fantastic attention to detail! There wasn't one outfit that I wouldn't have killed for, just to look in detail and touch! In fact, it has given me a lot of inspiration, especially the delicate little slippers they wear.

Some of the members of Versailles were very snobby, especially at the get-togethers, and Marie's little inner crowd. So I honestly did feel sorry for her in places, although in a lot of cases she did deserve exactly what she got by abandoning France for her parties...

The only thing that I was a little disappointed with was the ending, as I found it rather vague. Anybody who wasn't familiar with the trial and execution of Marie Antoinette would have been a little confused, and to be honest, I did want to see the flash of the guillotine and a bit of blood. However, the lead up to her desertion of Versailles was really tense, especially with the noises of the angry cries and pounding on the doors outside!

This is stating the obvious, but Kirsten Dunst was absolutely brilliant! I adored her in Interview with the Vampire, and I loved her in this too! She is an all-round perfect actress, especially in these kinds of period films; honestly, I could just see her strutting through all romantic eras and she would suit every single one to a T!

Child of Darkness

Trapped in the body of an innocent, she stalks the night,

gesturing for her pray, for her supper… the ruby-red feast.

With a sweet little whisper in their adoring, attentive ear,

she seduces them with a talent that her father would be proud of,

a baby siren among imbeciles!

Those foolish mortals take one look at her and think;

“Why, a child like her is harmless!

What is she doing out at midnight,

the time of wretches, witches, prostitutes, drunks and the

blood-thirsty?”

Even as her pearly teeth sink into their struggling necks, as delicate as the frail stem of a daisy,

their thoughts are of a tiny blonde-haired angel with eyes like liquid from the purest lake.

Her cheeks were as cold, as pallid as death,

like two ripe apples left out in the bitter winter;

motherly women and playful children would flinch as she nuzzled their necks like a babe.

Only would she warm when their blood was gushing down her throat,

adding roses to her complexion, and cherries to her pink plump lips.

For sixty-five years she never grew a millimetre, never gained a year

to her princess profile.

As toddlers became teenagers, teenagers became adults, and adults became

old, diseased and decrepit,

she was saved from the cruel touch of age and decay…

Men had marvellous theories, each one wrong in every sense;

was she Thumbelina, deserving of the limelight in the freak show,

or a child — a poor, sweet, darling child?

People of New Orleans disappeared into the fog of night, never to be seen again.

Slaves, babes, belles and beaus,

nobody was salvaged from the wrath of an immortal…

A doll personified, animated to walk the Earth and sail the seven seas,

she would pirouette through the streets of New Orleans as a ballerina would at a performance for royalty.

Soft curls and ringlets bouncing, she would steal down the alleyways, luxury capes flying, petticoats whirling, endless taffeta reeling and flowing like an emerald green sea, and little drawers peeking shyly from beneath her robes.

Nobody knew her haunts, not even her two fathers,

but to children of the town, she was an incredible mystery, however dangerous she first appeared.

A five year-old crowned Queen of Death.

Éventail - Aurora

You might remember my vampire character from another poem I wrote, Aurora's Bed? Well, I decided to write another poem about her, as I found inspiration for an "éventail" poem on Candy Violet's blog! I'm a big fan of her clothes and several blogs, so I was quite excited when I came across the idea of a different type of poem on her blog! She writes: "One activity was to create small poems where the first letter of each line spelled out "Eventail" the French word for fan", so how could I resist the temptation to write another poem?

       Élegance, poise, pride and posture; a

Virtuous angel, as every mademoiselle should be, but nevertheless, a vixen in disguise...

Enchanted by the maiden’s curse, the prince bowed low to kiss her delicate paw.

Never would he have comprehended the Bedlam from within…

The glossy fangs that sparkled in the candlelight of her boudoir,

And the blood-lust circling her hollow ribcage like ravenous piranhas...

In a frenzy of beastly hunger, she devoured his tender throat with such sensuous delight;

Love’s deadly spell.

Borovnian Princesses

Two saccharine sweet little girls, one fantasy;

shared dreams between realms, as real as you and I.

MAD! Mad as a March Hare,

crazy as a jester;

but to them, it was everyone else who was bonkers!

Typical psychosis. Take notes.

Silky swirling dresses, blue-blooded royals, gardens full of mythical unicorns

and beautiful, magical flowers of every colour of the rainbow —

shades not yet known to the human eye!

Jesters ran rife, spreading mischief throughout the lands,

and clay creatures on stilts caused mayhem unlike anything they’d ever seen.

Not to mention, the most wondrous person alive besides one another,

Mario Lanza, the world’s greatest tenor!

The Fourth World became their fort,

their place of safety, a haven.

Together they were princesses, stunning sisters, the rightful king and queen of Borovnia,

soul-mates, lovers, and comrades;

Charles and Deborah, Gina and Diello.

There was hatred burning bright in the brown eyes, scorn and contempt within the gold-flecked grey…

Narcissism, their middle names.

Medieval fantasies of romance and the eros

were their speciality…

and anybody who came between them were brutally, justly, and artfully slain,

a reverie of two creative angels with devil horns for headdresses.

Sink or swim, they were in it together.

Symptoms of aggression and violence… Typical features of children who kill.

Fragments of dissociation…

SIN! Sin was theirs alone,

something they savoured like hard candy.

Vixens inside the bodies of pure adolescents,

they took each other in their final nights together,

re-enacting the love scenes of The Saints;

how each Saint would make love in bed.

Those two girls had adult minds, libidos that led them to evil,

that night they discovered the pleasure of carnal sin.

Blazing blood red, fire red, from one heart to another,

as their heavenly lips crushed against each other.

They would have nobody but each other,

prisoners of love and desire,

prisoners of obsessive, uncontrollable friendship.

Homosexuality… Lesbianism… Abnormal psychosexual development,

sending them straight to the pits of Hell.

The most evil beings on this planet,

who shared their sentence at separate prisons,

who couldn’t care less about the trial,

and instead fluttered away their case with giggly, breezy fantasy;

caring not for their grim surroundings and bleak future,

only for each other, their paramours.

An awful case, terrible, terrible!!

Poor family, can you imagine such shame!

“The old girl took a lot more killing than we first thought”

was the English girl’s final statement, before being whisked away forever and ever,

away from Pauline, away from light and love,

away from sugar and spice and everything that is nice,

only to get down on her knees and repent and repent,

pray to the Lord for forgiveness,

day after day, one toil after another…

And the other?

Trapped between parole and freedom,

never free of her baby face that caused so much dispute,

so much hatred, confusion and loathing.

Forever judged on their childish deeds,

forever Deborah and Gina;

two sick, sick Borovnian Princesses,

plagued by desperate love and bittersweet separation.

Poems: A Theme of Sex and Vampires

Wendy and I were in a ridiculously boring Biology revision session, but seeing as they gave us iPads, we decided to do something more productive than pretending to revise dull things we already know... So we wrote some slightly erotic poems, first of all as a joke about the strange conversations we have, and then quite seriously. We had a lot of fun writing these, but they are rather NSFW, so I'm posting them under the cut.

Heavenly Creatures

Recently I have been obsessed by this movie I accidentally found whilst looking at videos of French films ("Don't Deliver Us From Evil", another film about the Parker-Hulme murder case in Christchurch, New Zealand, to be exact).

Heavenly Creatures has to be one of the best movies I've seen so far, especially for one that mixes fantasy with romance and horror! It is hauntingly beautiful, with jaw-dropping views of the New Zealand scenery, gorgeous colours of flowers and flowing gowns that the girls imagine, and an air of innocent first love. However, as peaceful and beautiful as it may seem at first, we are cruelly brought back down to earth with the grisly fact that this is a murder story of two girls who committed matricide. Also, that it was indeed based on a real-life story of an event that happened in 1954, which makes everything that little bit more disturbing...

The story begins with a brief introduction to the everyday life of Christchurch, where everything is perfect; then, it cuts to a scene at the end, with two girls running down a path, covered in blood and screaming horrifically. The quick contrast is quite alarming, and makes you wonder what on earth happened to those poor girls... until the end, that is.

Juliet Hulme is a bold, witty girl from an affluent English family, who moves to New Zealand with her parents because of her health problem, which requires her to live in a warm environment. Her parents seem nice at first, but it is obvious that she suffered from neglect throughout her life, as she reveals that she was flown to the Bahamas to recover from a disease for several months, without her parents, who were busy sorting out their own lives; plus, when she was in hospital with TB, they abandon her to go abroad!

Pauline Rieper (known as Parker in the trial) is a girl around Juliet's age, who comes from a working-class family. In my opinion she is very imaginative and courageous, but it is obvious that Juliet is the one with the brains in their relationship. At times she is saccharine sweet, and at others, absolutely sullen; a quality that shows from her expression how far she will go to get her own way.

Together, they flourish a wonderful, thriving friendship that borders on romance; they create stories of Borovnia, make clay figures of their fantastical characters, act out the scenes of the book, and Pauline keeps a diary that documents their friendship. At first, they bond over the topic of childhood illness, something they both suffered. But soon, their friendship became obsessive, and they were practically joined at the hip.

 When they are apart, all they can think of is each other and their fantasies (many of which include each other, with their alternate aliases, and the "bedroom"  events that happen between them both), which contributes towards the rage they both express when their parents are worried that their friendship is getting out of hand.

They frequently kiss each other on the cheek and lips, hold each other, hold hands, sleep in the same bed, bathe together, take slightly inappropriate photos of each other, and at one point even make love together whilst Pauline stayed the night; which was a contrast to the sex scene that went on between Pauline and the lodger that was staying with her parents, which seemed confused, hurried, loveless, and even a little bit revolting in my opinion... which, needless to say, Pauline did not enjoy - throughout she could only think of Juliet - and when the man is chasing her later on, she imagines him being brutally cut in two. Throughout, it is certain that the two girls regard each other with a little more than just pure friendship in mind. I found the romance perfectly executed, even beautiful, as the two girls look completely in love with one another, with lingering looks, shared emotions, and innocent physical contact - Kate Winslet and Melanie Lynsky do a wonderful job acting as lovers! They are completely convincing!

 As their parents start becoming concerned, they are advised to spend less time together, and Juliet's dad even advised Pauline's mother to take her to a child psychologist, as being gay or lesbian was considered a serious mental illness during the early 20th century. Pauline's moodiness when she was taken to the doctor's for being gay was perfect; she completely refused to speak at first, and then imagined the doctor being impaled for suggesting that she spends less time with Juliet! Naturally, I found the nasty doctor's little speech about homosexuality rather offensive, especially the way he spat it out like a dirty word, mentioning that with modern day medicine there may be a cure for it.... but I suppose it adds to the historical context; if it weren't for their parents' worry about their relationship, Pauline's mother would never have been murdered by the girls.

 Over time, they grow to resent their parents, which leads to the murder of Honora Rieper.  Their daydreams become more and more violent, where they remove all of the people who get in their way one by one... Pauline narrates with cryptic, yet simple, entries from her diary, which makes things even creepier... Matters are made worse when Juliet's parents tell her of their plan to divorce, and consider sending her away to South Africa to live with relatives.

When Honora bends down to pick up a pink jewel that they leave on the path as bait, they bludgeon her to death with half a brick inside a stocking, then run down the park path and scream for help. Soon afterwards they were arrested, as the police found Pauline's disturbing diary, labeled "The day of the happy event" on the day that they killed Honora.

Overall, I found this film fantastic, the ending making my heart sink drastically every time... It is very emotional, and made me cry quite frequently! This film combines all of the things I love; lesbian romance, fantasies, horror, beautiful clothes, and the 50s! The actors are phenomenal, and the soundtrack, special effects, dark humour and horror are all perfect. I would recommend this film, but only to the open minded.